Things that generate steps on your Fitbit* besides walking and running

-up and down arm flailing, imitating an excited Kermit. Side to side flailing does not work
-aggressive table slapping as if you were an impassioned defense attorney. “YOU CAN’T HANDLE THE TRUTH!”
-bouncing enthusiastically in your chair
-awkward, white guy dancing where you don’t move your feet, and just sort of do this standing weight shift. Eye contact unnecessary.
-jumping in place

All of these things do not make you a good person with which to share any kind of space.

*it’s a pedometer that has connectivity to your smart phone, which results in the feeling that when you walk around without it on, you have “wasted” all those steps.

Things that a lot of people seem to care about right now but don’t particularly affect me

The legalization of weed in Colorado.

Football season.

My level of interest in both are about equal, which is to say, nonexistent.

It’s a combination of personality traits that makes me unpopular with jocks and stoners alike!

As is the case for both, I don’t understand what the fuss is about. I’ve watched people who were high stare in fascination at the reflection of Christmas lights on a piece of tin foil for hours.

Similarly, I’ve watched football fans stare at tiny figures running around a small ball on the screen, also for hours.

But I have no moral objects to participation in either activity. In fact, it seems that the presence of Cheetos or other crunchy, cheesy, snacks can be found in the vicinity of both , which is a win! (Frequently, I’ve more interested in the snacks than the main event.)

On the negative side, I’m not a real fan of the smell of a group of weed smokers or a group of football fans.

Tuna, tuna, tuna…

Lately, I’ve been on a tuna kick.

Not sushi tuna (which I also love, but would be prohibitively expensive to get addicted to) but the stuff that comes in cans.

I’m not sure what triggered this sudden non-stop tuna craving. But if I suddenly find elevated levels of mercury in my blood, it’s really not going to be a mystery where it came from.

Here’s what I’ve discovered about buying canned tuna that I will share with you. I’m a tuna salad sandwich kind of person, as opposed to a tuna Niçoise salad kind of person, so keep that in mind re: the following:

• Get the kind packed in olive oil. It tastes better. Also, olive oil is good for you. As is tuna (except for the mercury part)  Also, if you buy the kind in olive oil, you’ll need less mayo, if you like mayo in your tuna
• buy capers to mix in with your tuna. Or dill.
• Or a bit of chopped celery, scallions, shallot. Or all three.
• A little sea salt sprinkled on top is great too
• Toast your bread. Or use crispbread. Tuna gets everything soggy and I think my childhood heebie jeebies about tuna salad sandwiches comes from having tuna on soggy bread.
•  Open faced sandwich-style is better for maximum tuna-ge. Tuna salad is gloopy and shoots out the opposite end of an overloaded sandwich when you take a bite.
• As tasty as it is, tuna salad is fundamentally low on plate appeal. It helps to dress it up with slices of avocado or tomato. Also, the more dill, celery. capers, etc that you use, the less it will appear like cat food.

Agenda-less vacation observations in Israel

Happy new year everyone!

So I ended last year by traveling to Israel. It was amazing, and I feel I should tell you all about it.

Like most Americans, my familiarity with Israel before visiting, consisted of biblical stories and the occasional news story. Not only has A LOT happened between those two markers, but neither religion nor news falls within the “frivolous” category of topics.

And I’m resolute in keeping this blog untaxing, emotionally and intellectually.

Therefore, here is a list of random observations that I made while on my trip that are of no religious or political importance.

-The temperature in the winter is not unlike California, but the angle of the light is sharper and brighter.
-The yellow light at traffic signals indicate that the light is about to change, so it turns yellow before a green light as well as a red one.
-People stop at the yellow light. I did not see any red light runners. However…
-I was not impressed with the general populations’ ability to park.
-Roundabouts are more frequently used in traffic than they are in California.
-Signs are written in Hebrew, English, and Arabic
-Because Hebrew and Arabic are read right to left, anything that is numbered, is numbered right to left. The first time I saw a calendar in Israel, I had trouble figuring out what day it was.
-People work six days a week, although some take a half day on Fridays.
-Everything is scaled smaller. Doorways, lamp posts, electricity towers. I felt tall!
-A particular shade of blue is used a lot. Bus stops, railings, lamp posts, public garbage cans.
-There are mezuzahs on every doorframe so that the Orthodox Jews can enter freely.
-The pita bread is fluffy and delicious; not the unpleasant flat, dry, “eat this instead of chips because you’re dieting” stuff that we get here.
-Yemeni food is deceptively heavy. It is the Tardis of cuisines; bigger on the inside.
-Israeli food is not the same thing as Jewish food (as understood by most Americans)
-Italian food is apparently popular everywhere in the world.
-There is a prominent café culture.
-There are stray cats in every city, just hanging out. It is fun to imagine the lives of these cats.
-American culture is very pervasive. I went to a bar that was designated as an “American style” bar, and they weren’t kidding, I could have been in SF. The music, the hipsters, and the food, were identical. The only thing different was that people spoke Hebrew.
-I was informed that it is not illegal to piss in public in Israel. I did not test this.
-Even dry cuticles, much less any kind of scratch or cut, BURNS when floating in Dead Sea water.
-They have wild ibex!

And my non-Israel based observation regarding my flight to Israel:

-Turkish Airlines keeps their flights unpleasantly warm. Also, I think it would have been more comfortable had I been a double amputee.