The end of the year is a good time to reflect on what you meant to do…and all the things you managed to accomplish. Hopefully, the first list isn’t too demoralizing and the second list is a pleasant “oh, that is nice!”
I’ve written less than I wanted to in 2015, or rather, written fewer frivolous things. Day job required use of new skills. It’s been fun, but I was also reminded that it can be absolutely terrifying and frustrating when learning something new. You get quite good at things that you’ve done for years, that you forget the time when those tasks used to be challenging. Then, you handily pass off that experience as “youthful angst”, conveniently forgetting that much of that angst came from the whole, not-knowing-jack-shit part of life.
I live in a place which values surface youth in an exaggerated, and some might say, unhealthy manner. But really, the best part about being young, is acceptance of the fear of the unknown while maintaining a sense of optimism. This is the combination that allows you to grow and become more.
We accept this state when we’re young, and then we get older and we (and everyone else around us) expects us to “calm the fuck down.” But fear of the unknown is a universal, timeless human condition. Embracing this, and being kind to one another would be much more sensible than trying to find someone or something to blame for a situation that is just a part of being alive.
(Unless you join a cult and prescribe entirely to their belief system and set of pat answers. )
And so for anyone who is afraid of trying something new, traveling on your own, ending a bad relationship (platonic or otherwise), getting a new job…remember: it’s okay to fear the unknown (see also, “Hamlet”), but learn to embrace it. Good things are out the in the wild.
Years ago, after another retroactively comedic relationship went down in flames, a friend comforted me by reminding me how quickly life can suddenly change. So, in the same way I had found myself suddenly devastated, I could also find myself giddily exhilarated. Now, with someone that is so great, that years later, I still pinch him, just to make sure he’s a real person and not a figment of my imagination; I am reminded of how I couldn’t have possibly planned this.
So 2016, I wish for all of you, sublime moments of unexpected, giddy exhilaration, much love, many friends, and new adventures.
Happy new year!