Monthly Archives: April 2011

You’re an animal! An animal!

Need something to go with that leopard coat?

Christian Louboutin,  Fall 2011!

Or try these!

So versatile! Your feet look like hooves, AND you can defend yourself!(provided you have some level of  flexibility in your lower extremities-otherwise you will only hit people below the knees.)

And after a long day at work, in your sophisticated European footwear, put on your slippers and relax!

This fall, it’s all about acknowledging the inner beast! Just imagine how you’ll look silk lingerie and bear slippers!

Just…

Imagine

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Toys for the modern Wednesday Addams…

Last night, I was chatting with a friend about educational toys. We had both been a bit shaken by this graphic. It shows how advertisers target boys and girls differently. Apparently, boys were supposed to fantasize about battle and power, while girls should hope for love and magic!

Blech.

So  I hopped onto Amazon. My friend suggested looking for anatomy models and such because while her child is about as girly as they come, she also has no squeamishness. (This kid is way cooler than I was at her age).

There were a few toys that were appropriate; accurate but managing to skirt the goriness factor.

But I also found this: The CSI Facial Reconstruction Kit.

 

Seriously?!? Who would buy this?

Oh wait, I know!

OVERACHIEVING MOM: Okay honey, let’s play  ”working for the recovery team after a genocide!”. You need to identify some remains! What do you do?

CHILD WITH FUTURE PSYCHOLOGICAL ISSUES: Yay! First I’ll take a course on cultural sensitivity about the country that I’ll be visiting! Can we play “We found a dead ho  in an alley” next?!

OVERACHIEVING MOM: It’s “sex worker” sweetie.

Parent/child bonding, FTW!

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Real life, with orchestrated sound effects

I’ve been slowly making my way through the documentary series “BBC Life“.  It’s the follow up to “BBC Planet Earth” that came out a few years before.

As expected, it’s beautiful. But it’s slow going because it’s a) really long and b) they are merciless about showing dead baby animals.

The babies don’t start off dead,  they start off adorable, fluffy and frolicking. That is the foreshadowing. Very shortly after, there will be  a lot of panic and frantic, futile attempts to survive. And all in high-definition.

It’s kind of awful. Whenever one of the animal does manage to escape, I feel like cheering, and then turning off the DVD player immediately, so I can end on a high note.

Fuck you Lion King and your “Circle of Life”.

Anyway, that’s not what I meant to talk about. What I meant to talk about is the sound effects.

It occurred to me, while watching, that OF COURSE the BBC wasn’t able to capture actual sounds of a chameleon sucking back a praying mantis from its perch. That had to be the work of a sound effects artist, working hard at making a plausible, snappy, slithery sound.

I mean, maybe the sounds from the lion hunt was genuine (doubt it, imagine how distracting a lion would find a boom mike?), but the clattering sound of a beetle as it skitters across the forest floor? Not likely.

Documentary foley artists; severely under-appreciated.

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