Every beauty cream makes the claim that it will take care of what “ages you the most”.
So someday, one of these creams will put out the sun, because that’s really the thing that ages everyone the most.
And after that, we will all, technically look better, because nothing is quite so flattering as dim lighting.
The cream should also neutralize right wingers, because I swear, their insanity have caused some serious wrinkles.
It should make relatives less annoying.
Friends more understanding.
Store clerks more efficient.
Occasionally, it should cause amnesia, because there are ex boyfriends that need to be forgotten.
It should make me more deaf, when music I don’t like, comes on in a place I can’t control.
It should shorten commutes, and clear traffic.
It should create world peace.
Fix the homeless problem
Neutralize obnoxious extremists of any stripe.
Fix global warming.
Do my taxes.
And it should cost less than $39.99.
Because anything higher than that would stress me out, and thus defeat the purpose of a wrinkle cream.