The other night I had dinner at a fancy restaurant.
How did I know it was fancy?
Well, there was only one pricey menu of eleven courses, and it was called.”Coi”. Which looks like it should be pronounced “Koi”, like the fish. But actually is pronounced “quoi” Which means “what” in French.
So it was French BUT a play on words, which adds extra layers coyness.
(See what I did there? Coy = Coi = quoi = what? I’ll tell you what… FAAANCY!)
I could also tell this place was exclusive because of the sophistication of clientele. (I’m excluding myself from this category, because try as I might to be elegant while eating, anything that hits my plate immediately turns into a pile of crumbs, which I then carefully distribute around me, in an attempt to befriend the local birdlife).
For example, seated next to me was a couple that looked exactly as a child might imagine worldly adults would look and behave. Well-dressed, speaking French, smiling but not laughing, sipping wine in a knowledgable manner.
Salut my unusually attractive neighbors!
Anyway, you might be wondering about the food.
The food was great. There was foam involved. Also some things that had been freeze dried. And a granita that tasted of roses. I ate something that was described as “chocolate paper.” The whole menu had a grassy theme, because it’s spring and the restaurant prides itself in local and seasonal fare. And when I say “grassy” I don’t mean vegetarian, I mean, the flavors were very fresh and herb-y.
Some dishes impressed me more in execution than taste. But I will be the first to admit that my palette is neither refined nor subtle. I really enjoyed this meal, but I have also been known to really enjoy a bag of Cheetoes. So I suppose it comes down to mood and budget.
What did impress me without any caveats, was the service. The last time I had a meal orchestrated by so many waitstaff, I was on a cruise with my parents. (Note: ambience, not as nice and way more glitter). Each course up until about the 4th or 5th, was presented by a different waiter. Then the staff recycled.
However, I wasn’t able to discern the pattern. It wasn’t 12345123451. Nor was 12345543211. But surely a place that shows such attention to detail must have some internal logic to the order of waiters.
I’ve considered a “Fight Club” like scenario, where the staff brutalizes each other, vying for the top prize of presenting the main course
Yeah. Probably not.
Eventually, I will crack to code of “Coi”. Perhaps it will lead to something even more mysterious, and I’ll finally learn how to truly enjoy wine.