Monthly Archives: May 2011

Say what?

The other night I had dinner at a fancy restaurant.

How did I know it was fancy?

Well,  there was only one pricey menu of eleven courses, and it was called.”Coi”. Which looks like it should be pronounced “Koi”, like the fish. But actually is pronounced “quoi” Which means “what” in French.

So it was French BUT a play on words, which adds extra layers coyness.

(See what I did there? Coy = Coi = quoi = what? I’ll tell you what… FAAANCY!)

I could also tell this place was exclusive because of the sophistication of clientele.  (I’m excluding myself from this category, because try as I might to be elegant while eating, anything that hits my plate immediately turns into a pile of crumbs, which I then carefully distribute around me, in an attempt to befriend the local birdlife).

For example, seated next to me was a couple that looked exactly as a child might imagine worldly adults would look and behave. Well-dressed, speaking French, smiling but not laughing, sipping wine in a knowledgable manner.

Salut my unusually attractive neighbors!

Anyway, you might be wondering about the food.

The food was great. There was foam involved. Also some things that had been freeze dried. And a granita that tasted of roses. I ate something that was described as “chocolate paper.” The whole menu had a grassy theme, because it’s spring and the restaurant prides itself in local and seasonal fare. And when I say “grassy” I don’t mean vegetarian, I mean, the flavors were very fresh and herb-y.

Some dishes impressed me more in execution than taste. But I will be the first to admit that my palette is neither refined nor subtle. I really enjoyed this meal, but I have also been known to  really enjoy a bag of Cheetoes. So I suppose it comes down to mood and budget.

What did impress me  without any caveats, was the service. The last time I had a meal orchestrated by so many waitstaff, I was on a cruise with my parents. (Note: ambience, not as nice and way more glitter). Each course up until about the 4th or 5th, was presented by a different waiter. Then the staff recycled.

However, I wasn’t able to discern the pattern.  It wasn’t 12345123451. Nor was 12345543211. But surely a place that shows such attention to detail must have some internal logic to the order of waiters.

I’ve considered a “Fight Club” like scenario, where the staff brutalizes each other, vying for the top prize of presenting the main course

Yeah. Probably not.

Eventually, I will crack to code of “Coi”. Perhaps it will lead to something even more mysterious, and I’ll finally learn how to truly enjoy wine.

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Zombie Amish Bride

New, for summer!

Dress from Zara. Must provide own Amish zombie.

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Rillettes=Meat butter=joy

Have you ever spread butter on toast and thought to yourself “This is great, but I wish it tasted a bit more like pork?”

I know! It happens to me ALL THE TIME!

So here’s your solution…rillettes!

Rillettes are a sort of rough pate made of shredded pork braised in fat. Most of the bistros and boulangeries I went to in Paris had a house made version that was served sandwich style. Or you could go to your corner charcuterie.

It is not particularly pretty to look at, but oh so good

The problem with traveling to another country, is  that the ubiquitousness of some local product will start to make you believe that it is actually easy to get at home. After all, every place you’ve gone to for the last two weeks has had it.

But alas! Upon arriving home, there were no rillettes to be had. For years.

Until this!

The Fatted Calf also carries an Italian version called “Ciccioli” which is spicier, and equally delicious.

(I’ve read that rillettes are time consuming, but not particularly difficult to make. But who am I kidding, I’m not going to do that.)

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All crazed religious characters must be played by Paul Bettany

At least, this is what I’ve managed to glean from recent Hollywood offerings.

See, this is him in “Da Vinci Code”, where he plays a crazed, intense, albino, monk.

And here he is in “Legion”, where he plays a crazed, intense, angel. I don’t think he’s  an albino here, because it’s sunny in this movie and that would just be distracting as a plot device. (“Gee, I sure hope in between battling Satan’s minions he put on some sunscreen.”)

Also…those weapons look very poorly photoshopped in there. Perhaps that is to show that all weapons are like cardboard when faced with divine might?

No?

Ok, moving on!

 “Priest”.   A crazed, intense, vampire-killing priest (who may or may not be albino). In 3D!

I’m going to say that going from angel to priest is something of a demotion. He should talk to his agent.

The first time I remember seeing this actor in a movie was when he played a figment of Russell Crowe’s psychotic breakdown in “A Beautiful Mind”.

It’s been ten years since I’ve seen that movie, but  I’m almost POSITIVE it was like this:

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