Monthly Archives: February 2011

The opposite of vegan…

Ok, so remember a previous post where I ranted about vegan bacon?

Well, this is not that.

Pork hash and grits from “Straw” in Hayes Valley.

Although technically, I guess the opposite of vegan is something exceptionally cruel.  Like baby seal hash with grits which have been milled by child laborers using tools tipped with blood diamonds. And all ingredients sourced from farms which use lots of chemical fertilizer, and afterward, just set themselves on fire with gasoline. You know, just for kicks.

But as far as I know, this is not that either.

Anyway, it’s not health food, faaaaaar from it.  Its theme is old time-y carnival with food to match (i.e  challenges your metabolism).

But sometimes, sometimes, brown rice and veggies won’t cut it, and if you’re going to be bad, why go halfway?

Next time, I’m going for the fried chicken and waffles.


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Quick! Edgy or Ugly?

What these two dresses have in common?

They both take risks!

Aaaand… that’s it.

One turns you into a heroine from a sci-fi movie.  The other  traps you as a chess piece in a community theater production of “Alice in Wonderland”.

Incidentally, the sci-fi dress is from  “Hervé Léger by Max Azaria”. These dresses start at around $1000 and go up from there. They are made of carefully placed elastic bands, and are known as “bandage” dresses. I tried on one from an earlier season and found it a) gorgeous and b) very difficult to breathe. (In the future, I won’t need to breathe!).

If I crack a rib, this dress would keep all my bones in place until I got to the hospital.

Or force the rib inward, puncturing a lung. Hard to say.

Quirky fashion trivia: The original designer, Hervé Léger, lost the rights to his iconic design and his name along with it. So all the current dresses are simply part of the brand  “Hervé Léger” and are not associated with the designer at all.

In fact, order to keep designing, he had to change his name to “Hervé L. Leroux”.

His new work is beautiful, and no doubt equally cost prohibitive.

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Meteorological Schadenfreude + Kindle = Bliss

I love it when it’s storming outside and I’m inside with a Kindle and a cup of hot tea.

(With milk and sugar of course, otherwise it can feel  more medicinal and less like a treat.)

I’m certain that the coziness factor is in direct proportion to  the knowledge that  a) someone  out  there is getting wet and b) that someone isn’t me.

Moreover, having a Kindle means by the time the water is boiled for tea, I have my new book ready and waiting.

People who rhapsodize about a digital reader often mention how it  fulfills a bookworm child’s fantasy of being able to instantly buy a new book in the middle of the night.

However, unlike many other childhood fantasies, the fulfillment of this one is AS AMAZING AS I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE!

I know many people, for many good reasons, prefer the device that rhymes with MyBad. But for anyone who has trouble staying focused on one task, the Kindle is ideal. It sucks for doing anything else except reading books, so there’s no temptation to surf the web or check your email.

The only loophole is that since  it does allow you to keep all your books (up to 1500!)  in one, easy device, the  temptation to bounce between different books has gone up significantly.

Not that I would do that.  Because my focus is laser-sharp.

Incidentally, I know that tea-purists would not approve, but I do like dessert teas in this situation. You know, the kind with vanilla or cinnamon in it.

As I was saying….laser sharp.

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You’re kidding, right?

A picture being worth a thousand words and all that…color me speechless.

(The reason why the model is wearing sunglasses is that she’s trying not to go blind from the ugly.)

Maybe you woke up today and said to yourself “You know, I’ve been feeling a little too attractive lately. How can I fix that?”

Solution! Buy these pants!

The people over at ModCloth, who sell this lovely ensemble, write excellent copy. They try to evoke nostalgia and use many colorful adjectives. But nothing can save this. Can’t you see it on the poor model’s face? “It’s too late for me! Save yourself!”


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Herbal Integrity

(I’m going to disappoint some of you by saying that this post is not about pot.)

You know what’s a real pain?  I mean besides the obvious: that sticky stuff left after you peel off a price tag, vacuuming under low furniture,  people who cite Wikipedia as proof of their opinions for anything other than trivia…

Wait, lost my train of thought.

Ok, so what’s a real pain is constantly throwing away bunches of not-so-fresh herbs.  Recipes always state that fresh herbs are better (they are), but unless you have an herb garden, you have to buy bunches at the store and they always go bad before you can use it all.

Also…me, maintaining an herb garden…HAHAHAHAHA!

Anyway, I read a tip somewhere saying  herbs will stay fresh longer if treated like flowers.  So by trimming the stems and popping my bundle of dill  in a glass of water. I’ve managed to keep it perky for a week (and counting)!  What’s also great is that this makes it look like I have plants. Which I don’t, because, well, please reference the earlier comment about having an herb garden.

Now, herb keepers supposedly do the same thing.  However, I recently threw out a bunch of what I like to call “aspirational cookware”  (springform pan:1, cheesecakes made: 0). This is cookware whose main purpose is to remind me of what I don’t do in the kitchen.  So I’m pretty certain that all an herb keeper would do is make me feel bad that I don’t use enough fresh herbs in my cooking.




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