Monthly Archives: March 2014

FAQs about “A Well-Centaured Love”

Well, it’s been an entire month plus since “A Well-Centaured Love” was launched into the world, wobbling on its awkward legs. Now it has sales…in the double digits!*

For those of you who have bought and read the book, thank you!
(And for those of you who immediately sent me every horse pun I somehow managed to overlook…dammit! )

It is at this point, I would like to address some questions that have arisen regarding “A Well-Centaured Love”

Q&A

Q: I’m disappointed, I thought there would be a horse/woman sex scene

A: Ok, so that’s not technically a question, but yeah. I’m not an industrial designer and couldn’t figure out the logistics. Also I was too frightened to Google “horse porn”. So you’re going to have to make do with euphemisms. You do get a drawing of a horse penis though!

Q: Seriously?

A: Yeah. It’s small . Not relative to the centaur, but with respect to the overall size of the drawing. Still. Bonus horse penis!

Q: Why should I buy this? I’m not really into books.

A: Well, think of it more as a story book, with pictures. Who doesn’t like pictures?**

Q: I can’t believe you’re mocking centaur love! It’s a real, and beautiful fetish that many who love men and horses relate to. This book is really judgmental!

A: Again, not really a question. And is it really judgmental to make fun of imaginary creatures that don’t actually exist?

Q: Yes!

A: Guess I’ll have to live with that then.

*low double digits

**of equine intimate anatomy.

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Lay on the Meat Chips!

One of my favorite things about traveling is exploring the local cuisine.
By which I mean the junk food that you get at the grocery store.

You can learn a lot about a place by what the local citizenry consider an acceptable snack food flavoring.

For example, go into any Asian grocery, and you will find prawn/shrimp flavored chips. In England, you can get “lamb and mint”, “roast chicken and thyme”, “roast beef”, as well as “prawn cocktail” chip flavors. While in France, there exists both ham AND bacon flavored chips. They are all delicious and equally bad for you.

What’s interesting is many of these chips are from the U.S. based brand, Frito Lay, makers of Lays potato chips; they simply adjust to the tastes of their consumers. So clearly the international market is not only WAY more adventurous, but considers various meats as valid flavor options.

I have no idea why this isn’t the case in the U.S., and it makes me sad. There must be something in our psyche that flinches from the idea of meat as a seasoning, because we clearly do not object to eating meat in general. Do we think there’s a slippery “meat” slope, and if we accept meat flavored potato chips, we will suddenly be awash in meaty milkshakes and steaming cups of beefy tea*?

There is also this tendency for Americans to prefer sweet over savory, so even our salty items tend to be spiked with a bit more sugar than would be found in other countries.

However, this may be changing! Americans have started to enjoy spicy much more in recent years, there’s been an uptick in hot-sauce flavored potato chips, such as Tapitio, Sriacha, as well as the continued popularity of Flaming Hot Cheetos.

Could this be the precursor to a meatier snacking future!?

Maybe! Last year, Lays introduced this:

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And while it did not win their new potato chip flavor contest, it is currently available for now.

The question, does it taste like chicken and waffles?

Well…it tastes like something kind of chicken-y. The truth is, I could do without the waffle part, but this validates my dual theories of “fear of unadulterated meat flavor” and “savory also needs to be sweet.”

They can’t hold a candle to the “Roast Chicken and Thyme” chips I had in England a few years back. I had brought a bag home to share with friends, and it’s something we still reminisce about.

(Not in a weird way…but over explaining never makes anything less odd, does it?)

*a real thing, called Bovril. For close readers and fans of Roald Dahl, Matilda in his book “Matilda” actually makes herself a cup.

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