Monthly Archives: April 2014

What do you mean it’s not realistic?!?

Not to beat a dead horse (HAHA!) but I want to talk about my book again.

Because I got my first bad review!

While I’m okay with bad reviews (it’s really impossible to be universally loved) I do feel a bit bad about someone buying my book and being disappointed because she thought she was buying something else. Rather like thinking you were going to get chocolate, and finding a bar of soap instead.

I mean, soap is great and all, but so different!

So in case some of you out there are going, “I want to spend 99 cents (special promotional rate, going on now!) on a great centaur themed romance that makes me feel dreamy and see horses in a different light!” I beg you. don’t buy my book!

I kind of thought the tag “Ridiculous Romance” and the cheesy cover of a woman holding an apple, was a give away that this was a satire, but it seems, I’m wrong.

(If you must be disappointed, I’d like you to be disappointed for the right reasons.)

There are real centaur-themed romance novels out there, mine is just not one of them. Instead of hot horse-y love, mine has pictures like this in it:

Image

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I love bad advice….

Or rather, bad advice columns.

Wait, no. That’s not right. I actually think the advice columns are good, but the problems are crazy.

And therefore awesome.

There’s a rubbernecking, Victorian freak show quality to them. A feeling of moral superiority, laced with a tiny soupçon of guilt.

It’s in the same spectrum of entertainment as reality tv. What you’re thinking most of the time is “thank god that’s not me!”

And when that person does something that isn’t that crazy, a teeny, tiny voice says “OMG. I really, really hope that’s not me.”

It’s the rather neat trick of mixing both empathy and judgement, in differing quantities, depending on the situation. Because while most can comfort themselves with “I would never Botox myself like that”, everyone can relate to the fear of getting older.

The psychological and emotional benefits of a few years is wonderful, but the slow physical slide is less so. Ideally, during that slide, you’ve managed to work on accruing those psychological and emotional so that it just doesn’t bother you that much.

But if you haven’t…well…there you go, botoxed and spray tanned into Madame Tussaud territory. Money can’t buy emotional well being.

In all things, both physical and emotional, let’s always opt for more human and humane. Or it will be like this.

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So spoiled…

Like everyone else, I’ve been watching “Game of Thrones.”

And this last episode…

Ok, so everyone makes a big deal about spoilers, and I went and spoiled everything for myself early by reading all the Wikipedia summaries when Season One was still on.

I KNOW.

But…here’s my second shameful revelation…it’s because I couldn’t get through the book when I first tried reading it before the tv series debuted.

I KNOW. I’m disappointed in me too.

But now I’m going to at least do the spoilers the right way, and read the books, which I just started. And man…everyone was right! They’re really good!! Let me tell you everything that happens…

hahaha! Just kidding!

Incidentally, when looking for an image for this blog post, I started messing around with a standard Game Of Thrones image…and found out.

Using regular art filters create a nice, moody image. Like this…

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But using improperly themed image creating tools, creates a weird schizophrenic effect. And now I’m a teenage girl.

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